My Bridge Is Not For Sale

California isn't the only place in the country with massive financial problems. Of course, California is famous for not having a budget until after Labor Day. Today, a whole lot of offices of the Department of Motor Vehicles were closed as DMV workers protested Governor Schwarznegger's decision to cut DMV salaries to minimum wage. People trying to gain access to their area Department of Motor Vehicle branches were turned away and directed to other, more distant, branches where they had to wait for hours in long lines. Clearly those complaining people are new to California's Department of Motor Vehicles. If there was a DMV branch on every corner in California there would still be long lines and long waits. But none of that concerns me right now. My driver's license is good for several more years.
Here's what has me steamed.
Michael Bloomberg, Mayor of New York City, is thinking about selling the Brooklyn Bridge as one method of addressing the financial woes of his turf -- Staten Island, Queens, the Bronx, Brooklyn, and Manhattan Island.
Granted, you gotta do what you gotta do. But he can't sell the Brooklyn Bridge. It doesn't belong to him. It doesn't even belong to New York City.
It belongs to me and I'm not selling.
I bought that bridge about fifteen years ago for an undisclosed sum but which, let me just say, was not insignificant. Now, I didn't get a deed for my purchase. I got a t-shirt with a picture of the bridge on it. The person who sold me the bridge assured me that, in the sale of bridges, t-shirts were the best way to prove ownership. That other deed stuff, she said, was just paper. Cotton lasts forever, she said.
So, Mayor Bloomberg, fix your city's financial problems some other way. I'm keeping my bridge.
And Arnold...I'm not buying the Department of Motor Vehicles as a way of helping you out. I saw the t-shirt. Fugettaboutit!