Conspiracy Theory

Yesterday I had to go to Washington D.C. on business. I left New Jersey on an 8:27 a.m. train. I wore my winter coat, gloves, scarf and hat, all of which were needed on a chilly, windy morning.

As the train passed Baltimore, I started to notice that the incipient buds on trees were a bit further along than the ones I have been seeing at home. When I got into the cab at Union Station, my coat was open and my scarf and hat stayed in my briefcase. I saw that the magnolia trees and cherry blossoms are in flower.

Two hours later, I walked the five or six blocks from my first meeting to my second. After one block, I had to take off my coat and carry it over my arm. The soft breeze in no way resembled the chilly wind of the Newark morning and the warm sunshine was as foreign as it was welcome. During my walk, I figured it out. The federal government has co-opted spring! They got it, they are keeping it for themselves, and they are not going to let us have it!

Heed me on this, and do not listen to the crazy conspiracy theory that spring comes earlier to Washington because it is 225 miles south of New York.