A time of retrograde events

     Mercury's orbit is smaller and faster than Earth's. When its orbit catches up to and passes Earth, it creates the illusion that Mercury is going backward.

By Tom Walker

witsendmagazine

August 28: Things running backward

In case you haven't noticed, Mercury is in retrograde. It all began August 12 and will end September 5.

I'm no expert on this kind of brainy stuff, but it might explain why our garage door repairman showed up this morning with a 16-foot-wide door to replace our 18-foot one. Came all the way from Phoenix just to turn around and go back for the right size -- or a garage-door stretcher, if he can find one of those.

Guy has a sense of humor, at least.

Meanwhile, back up all your important data, clear the air with feuding friends, and do your best to get all your paperwork filed. Mercury is in retrograde, and while I don't know exactly what that means, I'm sure it must be important.

Looking all important, President Trump dons his serious white USA cap, meets with his disaster relief team at Camp David and thinks extremely serious, presidential stuff about the devastation caused by Hurricane Harvey. As usual, his deep thoughts are expressed in 140-character tweets.

I’m not a follower of @realDonaldTrump, so I don’t know what he’s thinking.

Loser.

August 29: Canards and other things

Yesterday I wrote about our garage door problems, blaming it on the phenomenon known as Mercury Retrograde. After further study, I have to confess that the concept of Mercury Retrograde causing problems on earth is a canard -- a rumor or unfounded story, like the ones our president tells just about every time he opens his mouth.

 Our garage door problems are completely true, though. Today another technician showed up with the right size door, only to discover that the framework around the garage door opening had been eaten away by termites. Why the first two technicians or our regular pest control guy hadn't noticed this is something, I guess, that we can blame on Mercury.

However, I did have an excellent report on a medical test today, so life is good. The new garage door is wonderful, whispery quiet as it moves up and down. President Trump and Melania are touring the Houston area, maybe even being compassionate and giving hope and comfort.  At least, Melania traded her heels for some sensible sneakers.

Thank you, Jesus, for all our blessings. 

And for the nice planetary fact that several times a year, Mercury seems to slow down, stop and reverse its orbit. It isn't a total eclipse of the sun, but it's no canard.