Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Something else that belongs in a museum

Wire Report, via the Arizona Daily Star

London fatberg to go on museum display

LONDON – Part of a monster fatberg that clogged one of London’s sewers is destined for fame in a museum. The Museum of London says it will put the only remaining chunk of the 143-ton mass of oil, fat, diapers and baby wipes on display early next year.
In a related story -- in the sense that Andy Borowitz satires
are related to the news -- Washington, D.C. gastroenterologists reported that they had cleared a massive fatberg that was clogging the intestines of a 71-year-old unnamed patient.
The intestinal blockage, a mass of some 25 pounds, was caused by the patient’s steady diet of Wendy’s double cheeseburgers, McDonald’s Filet-o-Fish and Big Macs, topped off by a dessert of Oreos and washed down with Diet Cokes.
“You down a day’s worth of calories in a single meal, and you’re liable to end up with a monster fatberg in your guts,” said Dr. Colin Entwistle, one of the physicians who performed the procedure. Asked if he had perhaps seen the story about the “monster fatberg” in London, Entwistle said, “No, that’s just a common term used by gastroenterologists.”
The patient, he said, is doing well now. “He’s back home now, and I just got a tweet from him saying he might celebrate his recovery with a couple Big Macs and Diet Cokes.”
“He’s cutting back now," the doctor said.