Hi, Lindsay!

Dank-clappered, yeast-frothing, ripe-fouling skank’s-mate, Lindsay Lohan, has been, once again, taken into custody for violating her Court Ordered community service. Obviously, for me, the best part of this news is that I get to use some of the neologisms I’ve been working on while she was out of the news. Welcome back, canker-blossom! I’ve missed you, you queef-snouted, societal mold-wart.