Saturday, January 29, 2011

It's All In The Name

Here's how she introduced herself in her bizarre response to President Obama's State of the Union address:
My name is Congresswoman Michele Bachmann.
Here's another example of a weird name.
I way too often hear a commercial on the radio for some ambulance chasing attorney who introduces himself by saying:  "My name is DUI Attorney Myles L. Berman".  In his commercial he states that 'anyone can get a DUI' but that's not my point right now even though I feel an obligation to state the obvious that not just anyone can get a DUI because those citations are pretty much limited to people who are driving under the influence.

Do both Bachmann and Berman really think that their current titles or occupations are also their names?  Or did their parents actually, in amazingly predictive moments, name a daughter Congresswoman and a son DUI Attorney?
Surely it's not possible that we are so out of touch with our language that we can no longer communicate coherently.
No.  That cannot be the case.
Therefore I'm going with the amazingly predictive moments at the time of child naming theory.
That theory explains to my complete satisfaction why I've lately been meeting people with names such as 'Unemployed Way Too Long' and 'Bat Shit Crazy' and 'Mean Spirited Susie'.
Oh yeah.  Just to round things out, I've also recently met people with names such as 'Kind With No Hidden Agenda' and 'Doing His Best' and 'Always Optimistic'.

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