With A Toy Inside, No Doubt

They’re remaking “Time Bandits” as a kids’ movie. Because, naturally, the first thing we think of when we meditate upon a nihilistic fantasy involving time traveling dwarfs, the Supreme Being, the incarnation of evil, the inevitable flaws in a clockwork universe, and the realization that the universe is run by a dictator whose plan includes murdering your parents is what a great Happy Meal theme this will make.