National Public Radio has for years given us breaking national and world news along with stories from business, politics, health, science, technology, music, arts, and culture. I know this is true because I listen to NPR and because the NPR website says so.
Imagine, then, then almost euphoria with which I greeted a recent segment on National Public Radio.
The Better Marriage Blanket.
Winters in central New York can get pretty dark and cold. Such conditions often leave people with time on their hands. This is apparently what happened to the couple who developed the above mentioned product. They bought a piece of clothing made of a carbon fabric and designed to protect soldiers from chemical warfare. How they discovered their alternate use for the fabric is unclear. At any rate they did discover that while wearing the article of clothing, their farts were odorless. One thing led to another as these things on short, dark, cold winter days do, and they bought a whole lot of those articles of clothing, cut them into squares, and made a blanket.
Somewhere along their marital journey they had apparently hit the skids of bliss because of their farts smelled really bad. So they made their blanket out of this chemical warfare material to save their marriage. It has not only saved their marriage, it is well on the way to making them millionaires.
In answer to the NPR interviewer's question of why a blanket why not pajama bottoms or shorts, the husband of the newly discovered marital and financial bliss team responded because you just never know what you're going to sleep in but you always need a blanket. Made sense to me.
The blanket apparently requires little maintenance. From the interview I also learned that the couple during their test period forgot about upkeep and after about a year of use simply threw the blanket in the dryer. It came out fresh and ready to once again absorb the worst the couple had to offer.
The blanket until recently was advertised on television. Those ads were pulled because the sales company couldn't keep up with the demand. Now you either have to go to the website, watch the youtube video, or go out and find your own chemical warfare outfit and make it into a blanket.
The ads and the interview on National Public Radio appear to focus only heterosexual couples. That leaves me with the understanding that either same sex couples aren't bothered by smelly farts or - probably more accurate - the farts of same sex couples don't stink.
The only question remaining in this current marketing phenomenon is why the couple bought a piece of clothing designed to protect soldiers from chemical warfare in the first place. And of even greater concern is why was the original purchase just for one such piece of clothing?
Oh, wait, I remember. Their marriage was already on the skids because of the fart situation so buying just one piece of protective gear was part of the whole downhill slide.
Life can be really complicated at times.