Saturday, August 23, 2008

All Relationships End In Separation

All of this talk about Proposition 8 and life long commitments and vows and such has reminded me of an essential aspect of relationships.
They all end in separation.
That reality can be a real kicker when first considered. Down the road, though, the emotional and mental turmoil initially created by that statement calms and we begin to see things differently.
All relationships really do end in separation.
Whether the relationship is with our careers which we love, our jobs which we hate, our friends, our homes, our spouses, our favorite television programs doesn't matter. They all end in separation.
What a liberating bit of information. What an urgent reality.
I love you. I will one day lose you not because you will leave me or I will leave you necessarily but because one of us will one day die before the other. Every moment with you must, then, be treasured.
I hate this job but I like the benefits or I like the commute or I like my colleagues. And then one day the company closes or I retire or I get so sick from the stress of doing something I hate that I can't work anyway and that relationship is over.
Just like that.
When we finally 'get it' that all relationships end in separation we treasure and we sever depending on circumstances.
'Getting it' allows us to love and live fearlessly knowing that the worst that can happen eventually will. Accepting that urges us to love passionately and cherish constantly. It also frees us to -- if we must -- walk away responsibly and respectfully and with liberated dignity because we 'get it' that life is a one way ticket to perhaps a never ending circle.


Leslie said...

"I saw tail lights last night in a dream about my old life/Everybody leaves so why wouldn't you?"

--The Gaslight Anthem

Chino Blanco said...

According to Frank Schubert, 'Yes on 8' campaign manager, the mobilization of LDS (Mormon) volunteers could save his campaign up to $26 million in costs related to micro-targeting persuadable voters.

Micro-Targeting Mormons

So much for campaign finance rules.

Mary said...

Funny I see this posting right after I got a call from a pal who is LDS asking me to help her save the valued institution of Marriage between a man and a woman. She tells me when they marry it is for all eternity. Statistics show that as many LDS as not don't reflect that sacred vow. She doesn't see this as an issue of rights but more an issue of morality. When I asked her how she would react if one or more of her kids were gay she said she would love the sinner and not the sin of homosexuality. I wonder what rock she has been living under. I was so disappointed in what she had to say that I asked more questions...glutton for punishment I guess! If faced with a life threatening illness how would she react to a gay blood donor or physician or EMT saving her loved one? Oh that is ok she replied. When I asked about gay individuals going to war and spilling their blood, she reminded me of the don't ask don't tell policy. I guess in this case I will love her as a sinner and really hate the sin I feel she commited against G-od's children!

Mary said...

Come to think of it, knowing all relationships end in separation is frightening. I'm not certain if I thought about it I would ever have pursued any relationship. Then again we only grow with the good and the bad.

Chino Blanco said...

Just a heads up: Mike Huckabee recently gave an interview in which he holds Mitt Romney responsible for implementing gay marriage in Massachusetts.


Welcome to the coalition.

I wish that more rank and file members of the LDS (Mormon) church would realize: the anti-gay coalition they've joined in California is one that includes folks who - given the chance - would vote their church out of existence.

Folks like Mike Huckabee and his Evangelical buddies.