Today I had to go to Ontario Mills.
Ontario Mills is the second largest shopping center in the United States. The largest one is in Minnesota. This one is big enough.
There are untold numbers of stores in Ontario Mills, divided into ten "neighborhoods". There is nothing neighborly about the place. It's just a shopping center times ten. The stores are big. The corridors are big. The parking lots are gargantuan. The last time I was there was on a Saturday evening, when my partner and I thought we'd go see a movie at the AMC theatre there. It was so horrifically crowded that we fled and had to revive ourselves with a couple of margaritas at the nearest El Torito. I swore I'd never return.
However, my younger nephew is a budding rock star. He and his band are featured on the cover of a magazine that is published in the UK. The magazine is virtually unavailable on the West Coast of the United States, except at Virgin Megastores.
There are only four Virgin Megastores in California. Guess where the one closest to where I live is located. Right.
Now, Ontario Mills was a less scary place in the middle of a Monday afternoon. The Virgin Megastore had the magazine, but only last week's issue. The band is on the cover of this week's issue. They don't know when it will be delivered. I have to keep checking. I will be going to Ontario Mills at lunch hour every day until it comes in. My whole family is counting on me to get as many copies as I can, and I can't let them down.
And if you want to check out the band, they are The Gaslight Anthem, and they really are terrific. Just don't go to the Virgin Megastore in Ontario Mills and buy the last copy of Kerrang!