Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Hello, Goodbye, Hello, Goodbye
Here's a kicker. All relationships end in separation. Think about it. Relationships with friends, with work, with organizations -- it doesn't matter what -- they all end in separation. We stay in those relationships because they nurture and sustain us, because the benefits are good, because we fear change, because we like to belong -- the reasons positive and negative don't matter. Understanding those reasons and the dynamics of change do matter. Knowing, accepting, the notion that every relationship we have will ultimately end in separation frees us from that which we fear most -- separation. We become free to cherish and free to let go. We get it that sometimes we have choices and sometimes we have none. We also get it that we cannot hide behind a facade of permanency. It's all up to us. And that can be even more frightening than the notion that all relationships end in separation.
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3 comments:
Unfortunately, you are correct. Most are afraid to be alone for fear of being lonely or without love. If they would look around them right now, they would find the love they think they are missing. Great thought!
Thanks.
And yet, somehow, "getting it" doesn't lessen the emotional impact, does it? Intellectual understanding is a blessing, but emotions are seldom so reasonable.
I've been struck by this relationship of separation as a parent from day one - children separate from our bodies at birth, from our functionality at weaning, from our control at crawling and walking - and continue to fight for separation, both physical and emotional pretty much for the rest of our lives.
Just another example of love often requiring leaving - of the necessity of separation for a relationship to be true to the individuals who make it.
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