My son’s girlfriend came over yesterday when she knew he wasn’t home. She was disturbed about many things and ultimately wanted to know why her twenty-year old boyfriend wasn’t as committed to their relationship as she was.
It was an interesting dilemma.
For months I have been gently encouraging my son to go forth in the world to find himself after he graduates from culinary school. We’ve told him our own stories of leaving one place for another, hoping he will find the strength and confidence to continue his learning wherever it might take him. My heart went out to this highly competent young woman who wore her heart on her sleeve as she pleaded her case to me. I gave her my full attention as she laughed and cried and shared with me her hopes for my son and their relationship.
"Ouch," I thought to myself. "You are so young. Work on your own life. Figure out who you are. How wonderful to be nineteen. Go out and change the world. "
That's what I wanted to say. Instead, I nodded and smiled sympathetically. I couldn’t fix this one. As I watched her leave I realized it was an act of pure frustration and desperation to seek my counsel. I wondered about her passionate and delicate heart and the woman she would become.